Go To Jail, PLEASE

25 May

Government officials have confirmed Hollywood superstar Johnny Depp could face up to 10 years in prison or a maximum fine of $340,000 for illegally bringing his two dogs into Australia.

His pilot could face up to two years in prison for his role in the undeclared importing of Pistol and Boo.

These were some of the details revealed as a Senate committee hearing in Canberra turned its attention to the high-profile quarantine case.


 Earlier this month, Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce threatened to have Depp’s two Yorkshire terriers put down after they were illegally brought into the country.”The dog thing – we’ll get that out of the way quickly,” was the ambitious goal growled by a member of the Senate rural and regional affairs and transport committee on Monday afternoon.Agriculture Department officials presented themselves at Parliament House to answer questions from the committee – all of its members keen to find out who let the dogs in.

“It is very serious,” politicians and public servants agreed.

“A complete balls up,” muttered another committee member.

As well as being grilled by the senators for forty minutes, department officials also had the chance to enjoy committee chairman Bill Heffernan’s best Yorkie impersonation.

An ongoing investigation by the department understands that Depp, his fellow passengers and the flight crew all failed to declare the presence of the dogs.





11 Responses to “Go To Jail, PLEASE”

  1. Mango May 25, 2015 at 2:22 pm #

    No, she too may bunk behind bars for a little while…. Last time I checked she contributed to this and is not 5, even though she tends to act as such.

  2. Liz May 25, 2015 at 3:45 pm #

    They won’t send him to jail. That’s just stupid. Sending someone to jail COSTS money, they’d benefit more from taking his cash and letting it go. However Amber should really be the one writing that check…but I rather doubt she will!

    • Mango May 25, 2015 at 8:25 pm #

      I doubt he would go… But her would be nice….. She may have brought those dogs w/ out showing or telling anyone… Maybe no one else knew…
      Idk did they even stay together when she got there… Don’t know what to think of this ridiculous scenario….

      • sad for jd May 26, 2015 at 12:44 am #

        Either way johnny will step up and pay the fines and she will come out smelling like a rose,, ,besides most people don’t know who she is and don’t …Depp, people know and this will be his cross to bare.

  3. Elle May 25, 2015 at 4:13 pm #

    They won’t send him to jail. I’ve never heard of anyone being sent to jail over something like this. And Australia is notorious for having a too-lenient sentencing system. He’ll be slapped with a fine and that’s it.

  4. designsondepp May 25, 2015 at 6:04 pm #

    I don’t believe either that jail time is going to happen. However, once this escalated, the government doesn’t have to back down and won’t. It will be used as an expensive example of power versus willfull disregard for the rules.

  5. phonytexanbitch May 25, 2015 at 7:04 pm #

    I, too hope they give him and all of those involved jail time (though not likely to happen). Again, who paid for the private plane? The purchaser of the plane is ultimately responsible and those who were on board were responsible to the purchaser. I am hoping and praying that Depp now realizes that A Turd is too much fucking trouble. Anyone who knows Depp, realizes that HE didn’t require for those dogs to be there. I’m sure the government of Oz will be asking who the 2 women were that were carrying the bag/blanket and who employed those two women and so directed them to get off the plane before it was inspected. Everyone knows that the REASON they were caught was that A Turd took the handbag rats to the groomer. If she didn’t make such a big deal of it, no one would have known who those dogs belonged to. So did she so it hoping that it would cause just a little ruffle for Depp and get her some attention, but like everything else she does it buried him further. I say again, more fucking trouble than she’s worth!!!

    • Andrew May 25, 2015 at 7:13 pm #

      Handbag rats LOL HAHAHAHHA ROFL

  6. janismd May 25, 2015 at 10:14 pm #

    People magazine is picking it up now…


  7. Jas May 25, 2015 at 11:29 pm #

    The reality in all of this is that the OZ government got caught with a weak link in their homeland security. They’re embarrassed and have to save face, as well as, beef up their security inspections now, in order to save face. They’re using Depp as a diversion from their own lack of responsibility. We know that Depp and Heard messed up by not reporting the dogs but what’s even worse is the fact that this could have been a private charter with harden criminals/terrorists smuggling what have you on these dogs. When you look at it from that point of view, the OZ security officials were in deep shit.

  8. phonytexanbitch May 25, 2015 at 11:49 pm #

    Now we know why they went to Cirque, they had to show that they were still in Oz. When they left, they knew that charges and the imposing of them were pending, they left on Mon. and had their visas ready to leave because of Depp’s daughter’s birthday. They may have gotten out before they couldn’t. It entirely possible that he may not be able to go back to Oz, question is what if they extradite him, will the US give him up. If he thought fame made him a fugitive before, this will take the cake. Chances are the Aussie government will be bought off. But what if they want to make an example of Depp? They might impose the fine but add jail time as well, a shortened incarceration. Depp and Turd had to make that public appearance, they wanted to be sure they looked good before the shit storm hit the press about all of this. This will be incredibly bad and in some ways unprecedented. But if it were to happen, Depp might sober up and he might also dump Turdy. He’s got to realize that this is ALL her fault. I’m sure she insisted the dogs go with them, though the dogs weren’t seen in Japan, London, Berlin not in 2013 or 2015. But they HAD to go this time!!! Then she was dumb enough to make a big deal, so that the groomer knew what party the dogs were with. If he doesn’t dump her ass once this has all been settled, he never will and he’s a dumb fuck.
    Again, all Turdy’s fault, everybody else was PAID to go along, including Jerry!!!!!!!!!!! Did Disney pay them or did Depp pay them???? I doubt Turdy paid them.

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