“We Speak About That Which We Know”

30 Aug

 

Abuse victims, and perhaps especially genuine male victims of abuse, exhibit humility and shame.  They are far more reluctant to open up about what has happened to them.  They will not insist that they have lots of people who believe them!  Real abuse victims, you see, often lack allies.  It is the abuser who has them!

Most of us recognize that men experience verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of women, less well accepted or admitted is the fact of physical abuse. In our society, we think of women as the victims and men as the aggressors in physical abuse.  The fact that women are more likely to be severely injured in domestic violence adds to the problem of recognizing male abuse.  Nevertheless, it happens – frequently.  In fact, men are just as likely to be seriously injured when a woman becomes violent because women are more likely to use weapons in the course of an assault.  If a male client indicates that his girlfriend or partner assaulted him, believe him.  A man will find it harder to discuss his pain with you than will a woman, and even harder to admit to being a victim. It is easier to attribute an injury to a sports mishap or workplace accident than to admit to a doctor or police officer it resulted from domestic violence.

 

 

  • Our justice system often takes the word of the woman above the word of the man in abuse cases. It is just more believable that the aggressor was the man, not the woman.
  • Men are more likely to tolerate the pain of abuse than women. They “grin and bear it” more. And again, many are ashamed to seek medical help for abuse.
  • Unless a woman uses a weapon, she usually does not have the strength to inflict injury.?

Why did Johnny wait 24+ hours to seek medical attention?

Deflection: a turning aside or off course : Deviation

Which is what I believe Amber Heard does. She deflects, and she also places the blame for her actions on Johnny Depp.  The last statement that was released said their relationship was volatile.  We also heard that Johnny’s bodyguards had to physically remove her off of Johnny. She would get physically violent. In other words “We speak about that which we know.”

“He grabbed my hair, he threw a glass at me, he tried to smother me.” It could be just as likely she did those things to him, and turned it back on him.

Abusers will Discourage your relationships with family and friends, especially those family and friends that have a tendency to see through an abusers bullshit, the people who have the balls to mention something isn’t right, OR the people the abuser feels will be a threat. Yet we never saw Amber Heard away from any of her family or friends. Johnny hasn’t seen some of his closest friends in years. Keith Richards, Bill Carter, etc. It’s as if once Amber came into the picture his relationships with his oldest friends stopped.

ABUSERS Prevent you from working.  Johnny couldn’t get to set (POTC) because of fighting. It was rumored Amber became such an issue she wasn’t allowed on the set of POTC 5.  Johnny wasn’t able to make a press Q&A for Mordecai in Tokyo because he claimed he was attacked by a chupacabra.

Abusers can “Track” all of your time? TIFF – Amber was calling Johnny who was at a downstairs restaurant, constantly. He was getting up to go and check on her the entire time.

Amber said Johnny got furious in Australia and accused her of cheating with Billy Bob Thornton. Yet at the  TIFF a huge argument erupted on Sept. 14 when Amber saw Johnny chatting with a young woman. “She stormed over and tried to butt in,” the insider said, and when Johnny kept talking, Amber “looked livid” and pulled her husband away. “She talked to him like a child. Johnny smiled awkwardly and seemed to calm her down, because the next minute they were holding hands again and she was all smiles,” the source added.

Amber released texts, allegedly between herself and Johnny’s assistant. Note the text said Johnny didn’t remember the alleged altercation that happened. (where Amber claimed Johnny  kicked her) she said she remembered it in full.

Amber-Heard-Johnny-Depp-Text-Messages

She also led the world to believe Johnny took ecstasy (MDMA) in Australia. Did you know you can get slipped ecstasy unknowingly?  Did you know that If you drink alcohol it can have some bizarre effects. You may lose time. Not know what you’ve been doing, who you’ve been doing. It may not matter, but there could be stretches of time you simply cannot remember.

Abusers often deflect,  to look as if they are the victim. It’s part of their plan the entire time.

unnamed

 

 

 

According to the CDC, one in seven men age 18+ in the U.S. has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in his lifetime. One in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

If you are male and need help:

http://www.cadvny.org/2009/09/14/help-for-men/

May I suggest you read:

Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

abusedmenbook1_

 

 

Sources:

 

okmagazine.com/photos/inside-johnnydepp-and-amberheard…/1001437253/

http://www.entertainmenttonight.com

http://www.onemedical.com/blog/newsworthy/ecstasy-facts/

http://www.thehotline.org/2014/07/men-can-be-victims-of-abuse-too/

 

 

 

 

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49 Responses to ““We Speak About That Which We Know””

  1. L.C. August 30, 2016 at 11:58 pm #

    Thank you so much. Abuse is not a gender issue. It is an issue of average, decent humans vs super fucked up humans. It is just plain wrong whether it happens to women, children, animals, or yes, men.

    Also, everybody needs to stop parking their brains, because the only living beings on that list that don’t lie are animals.

  2. HavanaMoon August 31, 2016 at 12:35 am #

    I have a vivid imagination. I imagine that his haircut was a response to her. I imagine that SHE would grab his hair on both sides and forcefully direct his, ah, movements. Nothing to hold now.

    • usnpup September 1, 2016 at 7:09 pm #

      I think so too.

  3. Look.OverThere August 31, 2016 at 1:17 am #

    Weeks ago on my local TV news there was a man who had a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend but she had gone to his home and stabbed him. The man who looked fit 30+ was interviewed outside the hospital and he was trying to explain that men could be victims of domestic violence with a tone that implied people had not believed him in the past.

    One of the reasons, I had hoped that Depp would expose Amber was so that there was a high profile male who would acknowledge what happens. Now don’t expect Johnny to talk.

    • Hermione48fan (@Hermione48fan) August 31, 2016 at 5:41 am #

      I´m tired of people who say that Johnny settled because he was scared and didn´t want to go to court, WTF, it was the opposite and I read your post about why Johnny´s side doesn´t defend him more, Andy, and I agree, is unbearable to see that she barely has punishment or anything, she is like going away. Maybe is better for him to stop this before it turns worst and people keep bothering his kids, but I would like him to do like she did probably and release some video that accuse her, something against her.

  4. Bex August 31, 2016 at 3:27 am #

    He really needs to speak up about this, it’s so upsetting that he’s been falsely accused of something that she’s done to him and because of how things have ended between them it looks bad on him. My husband worked with a man whose wife abused him, luckily he moved out before things escalated, he never fought back either, he thought f*** this and left her. Also a well loved soap here in the UK had a highly praised storyline a few years back where a man’s girlfriend abused him and then she accused him of abuse. His friend noticed all his bruises and cuts and he admitted he was the victim

  5. priscux August 31, 2016 at 4:20 am #

    He is not ready to speak openly about what has happened and I respect his choice ..now for him it ‘s time to heal .

    • Andy August 31, 2016 at 11:09 am #

      Might be true but let’s hope Depp doesn’t stay silent as usual. Cop out after years

  6. Pennywise August 31, 2016 at 4:51 am #

    Yes, Johnny was abused by AH all the signs are there FOR HIM.

    According to HelpGuide.org:
    An abusive wife or partner may hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things, or destroy your possessions. To make up for any difference in strength, she may attack you while you’re asleep or otherwise catch you by surprise. She may also use a weapon, such as a gun or knife, or strike you with an object, abuse or threaten your children, or harm your pets. Of course, domestic abuse is not limited to violence. Your spouse or partner may also:

    *Verbally abuse you, belittle you, or humiliate you in front of friends, colleagues, or family, or on social media sites. CHECK!
    *Be possessive, act jealous, or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful. CHECK!
    *Take away your car keys or medications, try to control where you go and who you see. CHECK!
    *Try to control how you spend money or deliberately default on joint financial obligations.
    *Make false allegations about you to your friends, employer, or the police, or find other ways to manipulate and isolate you. CHECK!
    *Threaten to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids if you report the abuse. CHECK!

    For the past 4 years every one of these bullets has been categorized by Andy in JamberNews. Read it and weep.

    • Hermione48fan (@Hermione48fan) August 31, 2016 at 5:32 am #

      Thank God, they didn´t have kids.

      • Tammy the SoCAL Lady August 31, 2016 at 7:53 pm #

        Yes that was my FIRST thought….she would of taken the kid away from him and asked for millions of dollars in child support….Thank God is right….I feel bad for Johnny …he NEEDS to get his life together for his sake and for his kids sake….take a year off and heal……

  7. B August 31, 2016 at 6:20 am #

    I wondered what happened to all of his close long time friends. That is a big red flag, as abusers do isolate their victims. He only seemed to be around her moocher friends. I noticed his close friends were back in full force the moment they divorced.

    • Pennywise August 31, 2016 at 6:41 am #

      ^ THIS

    • KO August 31, 2016 at 7:34 am #

      Wonder if he has hooked up again with Keith Richards because, when asked about the last time he had seen JD, Keef had said it had been a long time.

  8. Joan August 31, 2016 at 8:16 am #

    Thanks, Andy. Heartbreaking.

  9. mud6352@gmail.com August 31, 2016 at 8:24 am #

    Agree Andy great post Wow

  10. Laura1973 August 31, 2016 at 9:20 am #

    I’ve been suspecting that Johnny was the actual victim of abuse in this relationship. Verbal, Mental, and physical. Hell, maybe even sexual. I have a wild imagination too and I wouldn’t put it past her to spike his drinks to render him into some type of blackout state. God knows what she and perhaps some of her sicko friends did. I started wondering this when the bed/photo was on the evidence list. I’m cringing at the dark thoughts.

    • Hermione48fan (@Hermione48fan) August 31, 2016 at 10:13 am #

      I never thought about this but is a big possibility. That would explain why Johnny doesn´t sue her, he doesn´t want to be humiliated in public as the abused man and his image on cinema would be gone… But it would be nice if something about her is leaked,something that they have as evidence, maybe not from Johnny,Amber said she didn´t leak the video so it could happen like this for him too.

      • KO August 31, 2016 at 10:37 am #

        Hermione,

        You’ve used the right word about what Amber did to JD – she humiliated him on a number of occasions. For a kick off, he should have left her on her own to make the dog apology video in Australia; and she has humiliated him further by releasing the kitchen argument video and the finger photo. Humiliation because he is a highly respected Hollywood actor and her actions have been public.

        • Hermione48fan (@Hermione48fan) August 31, 2016 at 4:16 pm #

          thank you, I wish he would make her pay for what she did to him. Too bad he will keep silent. I know many of the fans think that is better if this stop now but is not fair how people still accuse him because he didn´t go to Court.

        • Frompariswithlove September 1, 2016 at 12:09 am #

          The occasion would have been really good, but Johnny was probably at his lowest then to do otherwise, no resources and totally trapped.

  11. Sherilyn August 31, 2016 at 1:17 pm #

    Abuse is HORRIBLE. After awhile a victim of abuse begins to think it is their fault. A narcissist has a way of making their victim believe that. The feelings that a victim has takes a long time to be sorted out. There is never a concrete solution of solving why the abuse happened because the mind of a narcissist can NEVER be reasoned or figured out. The damage is there, always underneath the surface.

    I am hoping Johnny will do a movie one day. He would have to be strong and in a good place. Reading a book, watching a movie or making a movie about being a victim could make him relive it.

    I want to see the old Johnny back, strong, healthy, smiling and interviewing with complete sentences without searching for words.

    • Laura1973 August 31, 2016 at 6:35 pm #

      I want the old Johnny back too. I don’t know if you all have seen it, but there is a great video/interview on You Tube from June…it’s when he was on a radio show called Jonsey’s Jukebox. He’s there with some of the guys from the band (not Alice or Joe though). Anyway, Johnny was totally cool and normal and even laughing. So this was after whole crapstorm in May but before all the stuff in August. He is relaxed and talking just fine. Totally sober and talking about music with the guys. 🙂

      I don’t know if I can post the link here, so go to YouTube and search Johnny Depp Jonesy’s Jukebox.

      • usnpup September 1, 2016 at 7:33 pm #

        Yes it was a great interview and wonderful to see him relaxed and happy.

    • Frompariswithlove September 1, 2016 at 12:26 am #

      Don’t think western societies are ready for that. If he was to involve in a fiction where man abuse is addressed, that crazy bitch would use it to make the headlines and call it defamation.

  12. Sherilyn August 31, 2016 at 1:22 pm #

    Great post, Andy. Thanks for all you do.

    • KO August 31, 2016 at 1:44 pm #

      Yes, thanks Andy for your fearlessly honest blog and allowing us to express our opinions.

  13. Mebutnotme August 31, 2016 at 6:39 pm #

    Great blog. I have thought it all along she is the abuser.

  14. rek97 August 31, 2016 at 7:05 pm #

    Agree it’s an important issue which could maybe have a poster child in Johnny. I suspect we only know the tip of the iceberg of all the abuse he suffered by AH. It is not our business to know all of it, but if at some point some of his people who were witnesses get some info out, it would be a public service. It is so sad to think of how severely she hurt him.

  15. HavanaMoon August 31, 2016 at 10:44 pm #

    Re: The Silence
    I think one reason, perhaps the main reason, for the lack of pursuit is to protect someone or probably many someones.

    We saw the “deppths” she would plumb, when she demanded years worth of financials from HV band mates.

    If he can’t remember a time period because he was drunk/stoned it’s not just on him. A Pandora’s box of who/what/when/where/how cracks open. An unctuous, twining smoke of inquiry and revelation would envelop longtime friends & loyal acquaintances. I believe he would put concern for these people ahead of himself.

    Also, if further investigation, results in scandal & loss of work for him, it means that many people who work for him (Jerry, Sean, Stephen), work with him (Joel Harlow, Ve Neill, Colleen Atwood, Keenan Wyatt) don’t work. And Christi. And Robin.
    Again, I believe he is too aware of the interconnectedness of it all to allow “his people” to be plundered by TeamAH.

  16. findingdepp September 1, 2016 at 1:21 am #

    Let’s kill her.

    • Andy September 1, 2016 at 1:27 am #

      Good idea KVWF. LMFAO. I’ll drive the bus. All aboard. BTW. U need to make a post at your blog. It’s been forever. Surely you could give us a laugh from all this DV BS? I came to look forward to Kate Van Winfen drama.

      • KO September 1, 2016 at 2:27 am #

        Andy,

        I’m having trouble with my email account, so can’t contact you directly. Would you consider doing a post on yesterday’s Daily Mail feature about AH staying in London for six months. TY

        • Brandi (@MrsRollgy) September 1, 2016 at 4:09 am #

          London can keep her.

          • KO September 1, 2016 at 6:41 am #

            We don’t want her, believe me.

          • HavanaMoon September 1, 2016 at 11:24 am #

            She’s already back in LA. Plus GB has very strict quarantine requirements. #doggynogo

          • Andy September 1, 2016 at 11:47 am #

            As if that’s stopped her. Except now she’ll have to comply. Everyone will be wary.

          • KO September 1, 2016 at 12:17 pm #

            She returned to LA on Wednesday. On Thursday, Elon’s space rocket exploded. The woman is a JINX. According to one of the comments in the Daily Mail, Elon’s wealth is all on paper and it’s not looking too healthy. Once AH figures that out, she’ll explode faster than Elon’s rocket.

        • Andy September 1, 2016 at 4:17 am #

          Will look into it

  17. Minnie1 September 1, 2016 at 4:55 am #

    There was a story about the Toronto festival on a gossip sight . Johnny was having what looked to be a meeting at the bar and the she devil was no where to be found. Johnny kept leaving the table every 25 minutes presumably to get Amber to come downstairs. The columnist asked one of Johnny’s group where Amber was. The answer was something along the lines of she’s having a tantrum upstairs. Asked why Johnny put up with it, the answer was he enjoys the drama young girls bring. The story says a lot about his friends ‘ hatred for Amber as much as it says about Johnny confusing pathology for thrills.

    • KO September 1, 2016 at 6:44 am #

      Minnie,

      If he wants the drama, then he surely got it!!! But, he got more than he bargained for, and to my mind, he has to take some responsibility for what happened to him. She was HIS choice, no one else’s.

      • usnpup September 1, 2016 at 7:42 pm #

        I think he was somewhat intrigued at how someone could appear “perfect” on the outside and be so messed up on the inside. He is fascinated by odd behavior. He also said he has never trusted people who look or try to behave too “perfect” like with perfectly straight teeth. He thinks those types of people are attempting to hide something because we are all broken and imperfect in some way. He should’ve stuck with his gut instinct about that.

  18. rek97 September 1, 2016 at 11:44 am #

    Minnie’s post reminded me about Johnny being a caretaker and how he said he attended to his mom after the divorce. I think he said she was “destroyed”. So now I’m thinking that for a long time he put up with AH’s hissy fits because he saw her as being in genuine distress and himself as ministering to her needs. She must have seen very early on what an easy mark he was going to be. And since she really was unstable, and he apparently felt a need to help her, it was a match made in hell. Those type dynamics made for the perfect setup for her to take advantage of him in many ways. It was also the perfect setup for him to be abused.

    • Andy September 1, 2016 at 11:49 am #

      Distress? Amber Heard? Those two words cancel each other out. At no time has she ever been or appeared to be in distress. (Riding through San Juan drunk)

      • Sherilyn September 1, 2016 at 12:48 pm #

        I’ve been to San Juan, not a place I think I would ride a bike, drunk, after dark. Beautiful place tho. No dive shops.

  19. KO September 1, 2016 at 2:27 pm #

    There is an exit which has been recently opened at LA Airport specifically for those who want to avoid the paparazzi. How come she never uses it?

    • B September 1, 2016 at 3:36 pm #

      I know! It looks like she is still trying to get Johnny Depp’s attention. I am sure he doesn’t give a toss about what she is doing. Why is she back in LA anyway? I suppose she still needs to move her belongings from HIS house.

      • Andy September 1, 2016 at 10:11 pm #

        what belongings? Clothes and ugly shoes.

  20. usnpup September 1, 2016 at 7:50 pm #

    If she were truly abused by him (which she obviously wasn’t), shouldn’t she be very bent out of shape and threatening lawsuits that the media keeps tying Johnny’s name up with her in every single article they write? Instead she is still happily riding on his coattails for fame. How long will that go on? Unfortunately, I imagine forever…a continued form of power and abuse of him and his reputation/character. Is character assassination a prosecutorial offense?

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