The Million Dollar Question
Why or How did this relationship ever get this far? How would he not see the content of Amber’s true character?
No one can answer that question but Johnny
What I can do is provide some information on the victims of Narcissists, and show you how many people fall victim to those who are narcissists.
In hindsight victims can look back and see the red flags, but during the initial start of the relationship the narcissist uses charm, and manipulation to acquire trust. We see this many times with Amber Heard. The numerous lies, the contradictions, the likes, and dislikes being the same things Johnny liked, and disliked. All false. Just lies. This is a tactic used by almost all narcissists.
Luring someone in. Someone vulnerable. They can spot a person with a weakness miles away. They learn from a young age how to manipulate, and get their way.
Amber Heard developed a crush on Depp as a teenager. She seemed to have researched him. Finding his likes, and dislikes. His personality traits. Why? In my opinion at first I think it was for fame, and money. To get close to him for her own ticket to the top. She placed herself around people in the film industry that knew Johnny, had worked with him on films.
Johnny had no reason in the beginning to think she was damaged, or lying. He’s stated himself he doesn’t do the internet much so why would he be searching for things she was lying about, contradicting herself? He wouldn’t. He wasn’t on the internet trying to find out if she was a liar. He trusted. Did anyone tell him they had a feeling she was bad news? I have o idea, but even if they did it doesn’t mean he would believe them. By that time the N has already started a mind fuck, ” Your friends don’t like me, whhhy when all I’ve done is helped you? Why won’t they give me a chance?”
We saw a decline in him. He looked empty, sad, unfulfilled. He was changing right before us. At times he looked like a shell. This was years before the marriage. So why don’t the victims leave? Breakup? Call it off?
For any combination of reasons. Take a look at the before, or at the time he started going out with Amber, and the Depp later on. Never was anyone less equipped to get out by that stage. I don’t know if this is true, but hypothetically he would feel a failure, depressed, his self worth in the shitter, feeling as though “This is the best it’s going to get”, a deep sense of being a nothing. (those photos of empty eyes making sense now?) and this does nothing, but hurl you deeper into any dependency you may have. (alcohol)
The N has drip fed you negatives, about yourself, your friends, isolated you (Easy for N’s, but easier to do to someone that loves their privacy and doesn’t go out a lot) The N’s lack of respect for you, or things they are telling you “You’re too much this way, or too much that way, stop being a baby, your fans are going to hate this, or love this, You’ve really fucked up this time, I can’t believe you’ve gotten away with being this reclusive for years. You’re losing”it”
When you realize the N is bad news, it’s usually too late, and you’re left to think about “If I get out I will look like a failure, self hatred, depression. “How did I go through this??” “What do others think of me since I allowed this to happen?” I’m a failure. My friends were right.”
Depp may have gotten caught up in the cycle and experienced all of the above. Its the manipulation from the N that lulls you in, and before you know it… you trust what they say, and you don’t believe they would hurt you intentionally. That’s not what love is about right?
They beat you down verbally, you start to believe what they say. They are Master manipulators, schemers, and when it starts to go south for the N – you start to get smart to what they are doing. When you stop feeding their need for admiration, when you stop supplying them with everything they want , and have been doing. (Ex: You want a divorce, or want out) the N turns on you even more. They will try to affect how people see you as a person. (DV)
The controversial Dr. Sam Vaknin, a self-confessed NPD, has written profusely—at times, brilliantly—on the subject. In his article “Pseudologica Fantastica,” he freely admits:
“I lie. Compulsively and needlessly. All the time. About everything. And I often contradict myself. Why do I need to do this? To make myself interesting or attractive. In other words, to secure narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, adulation, gossip.
A victim of an N, doubts themselves, they are confused. Gas lighting is a technique of psychological abuse used by narcissists to instill confusion and anxiety in their target to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgment. With gas lighting, the target initially notices that something happens that is odd, but they don’t believe it. The target attempts to fight the manipulation, but are confused further by being called names or told that they’re: ‘Just Too sensitive’, ‘Crazy’, ‘Imagining things’ or the narcissist flat out DENIES ever saying anything hurtful. Gradually, the target learns not to trust their own perceptions and begins doubting themselves.
You feel crazy, Every minute of every hour of every day of every year, a Narcissist, who has a DSM classifiable personality DISORDER (ie: not playing with a full deck) is PROJECTING their disorder onto those around them. If you don’t think that having a crazy person constantly blaming you for being “crazy” will make you crazy, I’d like to introduce you to a narcissist that will convince you otherwise.
This disorder isn’t a relationship gone wrong. This disorder isn’t kid stuff. It’s MALEVOLENT. It’s a transference of malevolence and MENTAL DISORDER from the person who has it to the person who DOESN’T.
So what do some N victims display? Any symptoms? Some of all of these? Avoidance, loss of interest, feeling detached, sense of a limited future, sleeping or eating difficulties and nightmares, irritability, hyper-vigilance, easily startled, flashbacks, hopelessness, psychosomatic illnesses, self-harming, thoughts of suicide etc.
Victims will tend to disassociate with their own self. Their body, their surroundings, it can lead to substance abuse, low self esteem, self harm, and this is brought on by intimidation; emotional, physical and mental abuse; isolation, economic abuse, sexual abuse, coercion, control. It is a coping strategy brought on by tremendous stress.
It’s a vicious cycle and a victim can already have been through it many times before realizing something isn’t right.
So why did Johnny Depp not see this? Why do so many others of N abuse not see it at first? Johnny Depp isn’t a superhero. He’s human. Like the rest of us. Having money, and people around you isn’t fail proof. Sometimes it can make the situation worse. No one is immune. Human emotions are real, strong, and unpredictable at times. You take a trusting, good hearted person, who means well, is successful, and has done well for them-self both financially, socially, and who wants love like the rest of us …….. and you’ve got the perfect “weaknesses” (characteristics) that N’s look for.
Malignant Self Love – Sam Vaknin