A Psychiatrist Weighs In

11 Jun

~ “I think my input is very much needed in this discussion. I am a
psychiatrist. I have a sub-specialty in pediatrics. I have spent 30+
years working with patients of abuse and/or in abusive families. I have
my own practice. I am attending at a private facility and have hospital
privileges at two public hospitals. I have provided ten years as a
volunteer provider (my time pro bono) in several free clinics. I have
treated children of abuse or who have been witness to abuse. I have
worked with both abused men and women when treating their children or in
concert with the parent’s own physician in a group therapy environment.
I have volunteered my time to domestic violence survivors in leading
group therapy. The reason I list my credentials is because what I have
to say is important and my opinion is not simply a comment on a tabloid
article.

I am incredibly outraged on behalf of domestic violence victims who have
spent years having to defend every one of their actions or inaction only
to now be painted with the Amber brush as liars in the future. Heard
has set the ADV movement back a good twenty years. I apologize for how
long this comment will be, but I feel it is my duty to both inform the
general public about DV survivors and also put the Amber Heard
allegations in context.

First let me explain the range of what “normal” is and my use of the term and
what it means. There is NO SUCH THING AS the perfect victim. DV occurs
across all demographics (although there are environmental stresses
such as finances that can add to or exacerbate the violence). There is
well established research and evidence that gives physicians and other
medical and law enforcement professionals both guidance in identifying
these situations as well as treating/prosecuting them. For example, it
is absolutely in the range of normal for DV survivor to NOT file a
police report. It is more often than not and it is so common across DV
cases that it is an established normal behavior. While there is no
perfect victim or typical victim, there is a range of behaviors (action
or lack of action), symptoms and the way in which DV survivors live
inside this framework. For example, another normal behavior for a DV
survivor is to defend their abuser, lie about their abuse and seemingly
hide from help. This is normal within the framework of DV and how this
process affects the victim.

Having giving you some context. I would like to explain why the Amber Heard allegations are so unsettling to me.

1. Police Report – It is absolutely in the range of normal, in fact,
common for the DV survivor to NOT file a police report. The reasons are
varied and include issues of shame; sometimes love (misguided as it is);
sometimes financial insecurity, etc. NONE of these reasons apply to
Heard.

2. RO – It is absolutely less common for DV survivors to file a
restraining order and it is also in the range of normal. The reason are
varied and include the obvious – while advised for future legal
restraints, an abuser will never be stopped with a piece of paper.
Moreover, having to face the abuser in court for the RO (unlike a police
report, which does not require the abuser) is too much for most
victims. It is therefore incredibly unusual for a DV survivor to NOT
file a police report and instead file an RO.

3. Leaving an abusive situation – Heard has stated in documents she was in
fear for her life. This is very normal for abuse victims. How they
leave varies but usually falls into two categories: the run-for-your
life and take nothing or quietly biding time to leave. The former are
those who genuinely are in fear for their lives and will sometimes even
leave their children behind, running away while the abuser sleeps or
while he is not at home. Amber claims she was in fear for her life, but
she does not fall into this category of leaving. The second category of
leaving are women who can or think they can survive long enough to get
out and do so with some means or finances, their children accounted for,
etc.

In both cases, however, the DV survivor does not first notify her/his
abuser that they are leaving them, remain in an unsafe environment the
abuser has access to and demand that the abuser provide financial
support.

If a DV survivor is capable of leaving emotionally and
financially/physically be able to escape their abuser, they would not
tell them in advance that they are leaving and threaten them with legal
action while also claiming to be afraid for their safety. In addition,
since Depp’s mother had just days previously passed away, his frame of
mind would be an external factor that could make the abuse worse. Yet
here is the series of events: Heard is allegedly abused while IO
overhears something on the phone. IO calls 911, Heard files no police
report and claims only a verbal disagreement (this is within the range
of normal behavior). While being afraid for her life and while her
alleged abuser is unstable due to the loss of a parent, Heard relays
through their legal representatives that she intends to leave all the
while remaining in the home that he has access to (this is not normal or
common behavior).

She then notifies his attorney that she wants money
and various other demands are made, again, being afraid for her life and
remaining in an unsafe environment (not normal or common behavior). He
declines her demands. She then attends a friend’s party (this falls into
the range of normal behavior, with makeup covering up an alleged
bruise). She still does not file a police report of any sort. She does
not file for an RO. She files for divorce first and again demands
financial support, while not mentioning in the divorce documents
anything related to abuse. Depp’s team again denies her financial
requests. It is then that she files an RO and NOT a police report (this
does not fall into the range of normal or common behavior patterns) and
continues to remain in an unsafe environment that he has access to.

At this point I am still on the fence although red flags are really
alerting me to something dishonest happening here or at the very least
incredibly bizarre.

The next series of events, however, absolutely convinces me that whatever the
truth is in this case, Amber Heard is not a victim of a pattern of
domestic abuse and that it would be a grave injustice to survivors of DV
by making her the poster child.

3. The Pictures and Texts

In my 30+ years of medical practice and volunteering I have met women who
did indeed document their abuse (this is within the range of normal
behavior patterns). I have never met ONE, not ONE, who would ever agree
to show me or anyone else the visual documentation of their abuse. That
is not to say it does not happen. If it does, it is usually on social
media someone escaped and is begging for help from a hospital bed or
shelter. It is NOT something that is a parade.

Even when submitted into legal evidence, DV survivors are anxious about who will see these
pictures. As those who treat these cases our biggest hurdle is the DV
survivors misappropriated feelings of shame and guilt. Even after they
leave an abusive situation, those feelings remain and are difficult to
treat. Even after they understand that this was done to them and they
were victims/survivors of trauma, the shame and guilt remains. When I
saw the face of an alleged battered woman on the cover of a tabloid, a
picture she willingly sold, I knew right away that this woman is no
victim or survivor. She is afraid for her life, nearly smothered with a
pillow, but refuses to give into evidence these very same images that
could help her defend herself against her alleged abuser. Instead, she
makes a commodity out of these pictures, she sells her victim hood
rather than attempt to survive something this traumatic.

I have seen many commentators on here post that they have been in DV
situations and have gotten away. I ask you, would you ever sell pictures
of your bruises and swollen eyes? How would you feel for the world to
see what was done to you and do this while refusing to file a police
report and put those very same pictures into evidence?

4. Deposition/More Demands/Mutual Restraining Order

If none of the rest put doubt in your mind, please consider that this
women avoided being deposed in her own RO case. She managed to find the
time to very publicly meet with a DV councelor. She very publicly found
the time to meet with a defamation specialist so she could sue Depp’s
friend. She found the time to sell her photos and have her hard drive
examined. But does someone who is afraid for their life avoid everything
that could help them be and feel safe?

Instead, she asks for additional financial support and she refuses to agree to a
mutual restraining order. In most cases it is the DV survivor who asks
for a mutual restraining order while they are still strong enough to
leave (and willing to file an RO) in order to protect themselves when
they are feeling weak and being manipulated by the abuser in the future.
The mutual RO does not in any way paint the DV survivor as an abuser or
liar. It simply adds an extra layer of protection for the victim, who
at times can be their own worst enemy. Yet Heard is unwilling to agree
with this stating that she is representing DV survivors.

I was floored when I read this. FLOORED. If she wants to help abused
women, then she needs to go to a shelter and volunteer. She can donate
her money and/or her time. She can do any number of things to help
abused women that do not involve in her getting a financial settlement.

I don’t know what happened in their relationship. They may have pushed
each to violence and both resorted to it. Yet even this does not sit
well with me. Her behaviors and demands fall well outside the normal
range of patterns that are so well documented in cases of DV. I do not
feel for a moment this woman is afraid for her life. I do not feel for a
moment she is in this scenario for any honest reason. She appears to
want money and is willing to use extortion through public smears
campaigns to get it. That is not a victim or even a survivor. That is
the aggressor.

There are women being abused right now, some even killed. They have never
filed a police report. In the future when the typical smear tactic used
to discredit these victims is used, it will have more support because
Amber Heard has abused DV victims by re-purposing the very talking
points used against them for her own financial gain. This frightens me.
It sets the DV conversation back 20 years.

I apologize for the length of my comment”.~

————————–
The above was taken from the comment section found :
http://www.tmz.com/2016/06/11/johnny-depp-amber-heard-money/

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16 Responses to “A Psychiatrist Weighs In”

  1. The Sword of Capulus June 11, 2016 at 10:34 pm #

    wow- thank you to the person who wrote this- hear hear, excellent post!

  2. Sharon June 11, 2016 at 10:36 pm #

    As a DV survivor myself, THANK YOU! Not only for what you do professionally but for your comments.
    God Bless you…

  3. mud6352@gmail.com June 11, 2016 at 10:49 pm #

    I am blown away

  4. Liz June 11, 2016 at 11:36 pm #

    Glad you caught this too! Spot on.

  5. babaloo June 12, 2016 at 12:21 am #

    AMAZING….thank you to the Dr who shared their insights with readers / the public. Thank you for posting this Andy, you and TMZ should partner up 😉 you’d make a solid private investigator !

    • Author June 12, 2016 at 2:27 am #

      Might be the reason of the course of this blog some of the members use to tell me I was a cross between HST and Harvey LMAO

      • babaloo June 12, 2016 at 3:21 am #

        I’ve been reading your blog since 2012. What you’ve been posting since the divorce shit storm has been interesting and I think useful, in that this blog wasn’t shy or afraid to ask certain questions, and unabashedly question the claims openly that AH was making from the beginning. Hopefully you will continue 🙂

      • mud6352@gmail.com June 12, 2016 at 6:29 am #

        Your amazing

  6. Janice Coomes June 12, 2016 at 1:17 am #

    Finally a professional input. Thank you so much for putting all of this into perspective. Heard is no victim. Heard is an abuser. Heard has done a major disservice to the real victims of DV and consciously continues to do so. So sad

  7. Mango June 12, 2016 at 1:43 am #

    I respect this opinion but truly I just see a young spoiled woman that has gotten away even up to now with a series of selfish , aggressive , manipulative behavior that aids to her benefit no matter who she steps on and how she gets it… Up to now she’s been able to use his weaknesses to her advantage and had painted this sharade of “new colors and flavors” …. John may have had some outbursts in reaction to her vindictiveness in his life and used aggressive words and actions not directly aimed AT her… But she was prepared to turn it against him and has planned these schemes to add up… & it has. The court needs to treat her like a 30 yr old instead of 7 and Depp’s team needs make very effective use of their time in that court room. The games and excuses are over.

    • sadforjd June 12, 2016 at 11:06 am #

      ^^^^

  8. Mayowa Anifowose June 12, 2016 at 3:04 am #

    Hi Andy

    Unfortunately I was one of those that gave her the benefit of doubt which I now deeply regret.

    I HATE that creature with a passion and I hope Johnny comes out of this stronger. Having said that, don’t you find it interesting that creature’s family have been so quiet?? I mean her dad is a loud texan and we should have heard his voice by now supporting her….but so far *crickets*

    Especially as creature has accused johnny of all these horrible things, and her parents and sister have said nothing?? that is very telling and something ain’t right. Wouldn’t it be interesting if they end up testifying against her? They are probably quiet because they themselves know she is lying and are ashamed of her actions and allegations.

    I did read the above comment and found it very interesting and eye opening. Thanks for spreading it.

  9. Spazze June 12, 2016 at 5:54 am #

    I grew up in a DV home and even though parents divorced I and my sibling was stuck in the middle in total for over 20 yrs until one day we had enough and cut all ties with our dad.

    I’ve said it since day one, Amber does not behave as an abuse victim (on so many levels) and no victim would ever publicy pictures of the alleged abuse on a global scale, if she could do that it would be no problem making a police report.

    What she is doing angers me, two resons. She’s lying and using the DV card to get sympathy and people are believing in her, and she is falsly accusing a man for being a DV abuser who I in all honesty, even though not knowing him, really don’t believe is. She is making the world believe that he is.

    It sickens me!
    Amber should be prosecuted for what she is doing, and I really hope there’s enough evidence that it can be done after the court hearing and that Depp is willing to do it. even though I have a feeling he just wants this over and done with and moving on with his life, which he is entitled to!

    I just hope the truth comes out!

  10. Minnie1 June 12, 2016 at 10:10 am #

    He didn’t hint about the personality disorder she has, which is too bad. A lot of us would be vindicated.

  11. Nobody June 12, 2016 at 10:59 am #

    If the vitriol against JD continues and given the terrible murder of the Voice performer while she was signing autographs, I’m a little worried about the upcoming Hollywood vampires concerts. They may not let him mingle with the fans but there still is the danger to him just being on the stage.

    • sadforjd June 12, 2016 at 11:15 am #

      Interesting you say that. Last night I was thinking the complete opposite, that Amber should be watching what she doing cause I’m sure there are millions who would love to get rid of her..for a mIllinois different reasons.

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