My Big FAT Trailer Park Rainbow Wedding

8 Feb

Freegan. Amber Heard went freegan. Please tell me she didn’t pay for any of the wedding items. Complete fuckery. It’s horrid. Maybe they were flea market finds.
1. Metal Chairs
2. Bean bags
3. Tents
4. Small rustic mirrors
5. Candle holders from costco
6. Rugs from Dollar Tree
7. Same kind of roses seen in Amber Heard’s nude titty photos, placed in the tents.

Aerial views of Johnny Depp’s island surfaced, and we can see that the guests stayed in tents. The bride to be tried to make the tents seem really cool with some rustic decor inside of them, but no, it was still a tent with no electricity…. on the sand. You’ll have to hike a few hundred yards for a toilet.  Coleman would be ashamed.

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A guest actually posted to instagram – photo she took outside her tent. (photo belongs to Johnny Depp’s assistants wife.  SOO more than just ONE snake on the island. Either that or this is the only photo of Amber Heard to surface from the island as of yet.

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Also another shot shows chairs, and what is suppose to be where the couple can take the vows, but once you take notice of the bean bags it too falls flat, and some have made remarks its on the tacky side. Not surprising coming from Amber Heard who…. served tuna tostadas, crab tacos, and cake balls at her engagement party. Why would we expect the wedding to be classy or tasteful?  I say, she may have visited a vintage retro store.(aka salvation army) to get some of these items. God Damn shame to know that some homeless man is missing his only mirror, and blanket.

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Last we have a photo of more chairs. Rainbow in color. Painted. metal.  chairs. I have wondered if one of Amber’s gay friends were getting married, or maybe Amber got exactly what she wanted. A big fat rainbow wedding. So henceforth the wedding will be known as
MY BIG FAT TRAILER PARK RAINBOW WEDDING.

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A guest from the wedding emailed in one of their photos to Jambernews, gifts for everyone included rainbow bridal blankets. (LOL) They didn’t want their faces shown, and I don’t blame them. Fucking embarrassing if you accepted the invite.

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Truly a strange ceremony indeed. We wonder if Johnny came out with white make up on, clown  costume and shoes, the whole shebang…considering the rainbow and bean bag theme, his love of face paint, and a Rainbow Rochester whore,  I think they nailed the trailer park class. She did say she could go trailer park real fast. That’s one Amber Heard quote that hasn’t been a lie. Proof is in the photos. (burn those)

On a lighter note, The bride was seen at the karaoke bar next to a tent singing  “I kissed a girl and I liked it” Johnny at that time was huddled in a corner eating Doritos, drinking Mt. Dew eyeing some rainbow colored shovels.

When the brigade turned in for the night, the girls disappeared to tents, and Johnny was left with only booze, and a computer. Online…. and ordering a new book, http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/the-book/

P.S. If Amber’s past dresses are any indication of what her wedding dress will be like…let’s hope Stella talked her into something that looked better. Not just droopy bed sheets, or something too tight with a huge slit.

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31 Responses to “My Big FAT Trailer Park Rainbow Wedding”

  1. LovedHatea February 8, 2015 at 8:08 pm #

    Can we just abbreviate that??? MBFTPRW
    This was done in a mega-fuck rush. I gotta wonder why.
    I’m thinking this is the last scene to this play and the star was told he could leave as soon as the curtain fell. So much hype they had to finish the riff. A little time will pass and we’ll hear rumors of trouble. The she’ll be seen without him, he’ll be seen without her, rings will disappear. And everyone will assume that it’s over. Then they will both move on to people they want to be with.

  2. Strange February 8, 2015 at 8:43 pm #

    So many odd things about this. Seems like something happened at his mansion on Tuesday, with the shots of the tents in the backyard and that many friends plus VP and BB were in LA that day. May not have been Johnny’s wedding. After that, why would they spend all the money to go all the way to the Bahamas for a quickie, Dollar Tree party that looks held in honor of a gay couple? And have the family of his ex-wife post the pictures? Photoshop? Someone else’s wedding? Johnny married someone else? Johnny’s really somewhere else, like hospital rehab/surgery? He didn’t seem to be in proper mind or health to be getting married last week.

    • jambernews February 8, 2015 at 9:03 pm #

      Where are the photos of the tents outside the LA house?

      • Anon February 8, 2015 at 10:19 pm #

        Everyone talks about these photos of tents at his LA home but the photos never actually appear anywhere…

        • jambernews February 8, 2015 at 11:49 pm #

          Link is in a comment above. Thanks to Strange.

  3. Mango February 8, 2015 at 8:50 pm #

    I almost think she is doing this on purpose …….
    Trying to make it look all official…..
    I noticed it’s right where people can fly over and see…

    She made it tacky on purpose :0. She’s wanting to stick it to people who have been against her…
    John- Either I want to slap him and say wake up crazy!!!!
    Or he has promised her the exposure and a pay- off to leave…

    There r no vows they could give besides but flipping each other off & telling each other where to go…..
    Well ,we all know where John wants her to go. :$. I think when she told him on the footage “anywhere he goes”
    She was letting us know what her atrocious plan was… To constantly be on his butt about something or leave… He showed just how much he liked it :(-

    I’m wondering if he promised her something a while back, it fell through & now she’s threatening him w/ it….

    Just can’t imagine him going through w/ this like this…. Again something is what’s the word…. OFFFFF …….

  4. Mango February 8, 2015 at 8:54 pm #

    Don’t mean to post twice…., but I wonder if she has filmed something she wasn’t suppose to or heard something & she has a way of distorting it or turning it around….she’s just an evil lil….,., isn’t she 😦

  5. Mango February 8, 2015 at 9:08 pm #

    Oh , and I wish I could tell her on national tv she is the most ridiculous, repulsive, unimaginable excuse of an honest woman that no fake marraige can fix. ……… Also most of America and half of the world would be very much obliged for you to get out of our faces and
    Out of John’s life because you are the most sorriest excuse of a decent human being that has ever been given such an undeserved
    And gracious opportunity…. I hope Lily – Rose and Jack spit in your face and give you hell….. 🙂

  6. Strange February 8, 2015 at 9:14 pm #

    @jambernews – pics at this site purported to show tents at Depp’s LA mansion on Tuesday.
    http://www.x17online.com/2015/02/johnny_depp_amber_heard_married_before_bahamas_wedding_020515

    • jambernews February 8, 2015 at 11:44 pm #

      I appreciate that. Thank you very much.

  7. CK February 9, 2015 at 8:51 am #

    I wish the dream I had the other day was true. In the dream I was driving around with a friend and over the radio they announced “Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are divorced!” I woke up immediately, thought it was actually true, then realized it was a dream. It was so loud and clear!

    I see Wikipedia has changed their profiles to being married to each other, yuk:(

    I know they wanted privacy, I get that. What I don’t get, is you would think they would share at least one photo of them. Especially Amber’s minions, they love sharing private photos! I guess as time goes by, photos may surface. The die hard fans weren’t even sure which day it happened, Sat/Sun because there weren’t any photos of the happy couple, weird! Thanks to your detective skills Jambernews, we know who wasn’t there, good friends of Johnny and his children, even weirder! I agree with ALL of you something is amiss!!!

    I see the fans are just beside themselves with happiness over this disaster. Saying it is proof of their undying love for each other. The haters were all wrong they say. Could we just vomit already?? Who might I ask, in their right minds, would be for this union??? I am befuddled and flabbergasted!!!! Arrrgh!! sorry, just my two cents, thanks for letting me share!!

  8. Judy Latty February 9, 2015 at 10:52 am #

    Cant spend too much at the wedding…….it will take away from her settlement! Im disgusted with Johnny and his entire mess!!

    • INTOHIM February 9, 2015 at 12:06 pm #

      OUCH!!!!!!!

  9. sol February 9, 2015 at 12:39 pm #

    They began to publish photos: vk.com/johnny-depp-ru.
    It seems to me or Lily is absent?

    • jambernews February 9, 2015 at 1:18 pm #

      Don’t see Lily anywhere. Only Jack.

      • INTOHIM February 9, 2015 at 2:06 pm #

        I didn’t spot Lilly-Rose either. If any kid would have protested this wedding, I thought it would have been Jack…as in the “mama’s boy and daddy’s girl” theory. Not trying to suggest that she is not there, just sayin I don’t see her.If anyone spots her, please let us know!

  10. Done with Depp February 9, 2015 at 1:31 pm #

    radaronline.com has the photos. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it. Poor little Jack was forced to be best man, and Daddy Heard was in the front row just in case JD tried to escape by flinging himself into the Caribbean Sea….sickening and sad all around.
    But, glad to know that someone on that island didn’t approve given that they sent you a photo of the ridiculous blanket. maybe there is hope after all.

  11. sol February 9, 2015 at 1:39 pm #

    then, the rumors that Lily does not have good relationship with Amber “chupacabras” are true !!!

  12. Lara February 9, 2015 at 4:13 pm #

    Is it true a guest from the wedding emailed in one of their photos to Jambernews or were you joking??? That would mean somebody close to Johnny also joins us in hating Amber!! That would be too good!!

    • jambernews February 9, 2015 at 6:32 pm #

      no no no LOL that was a joke, but the rest of the photos are real. Sorry I couldn’t resist and thinking about it, they probably did get suck ass wedding parting gifts – like a snake in their tent.

  13. Loved Hatea February 9, 2015 at 4:14 pm #

    It doesn’t look like a big “in love” wedding. When two people are in love or even think they are in love, they want to celebrate it with EVERYONE. This looks like all of the people that Johnny employs and the demon bitches LGBT friends. A wedding is to make memories, not a show. These are not the kind of people that are needed to make memories. This too shall pass, the question will be how much of his net worth Johnny will be losing.

  14. Suzy February 9, 2015 at 7:34 pm #

    Such an underwhelming wedding. I mean Radar Online has the exclusive photos? How A-list. If this wedding took place 5 years ago to Vanessa it would be splashed all over US Weekly and People. Nobody cares about Amber. Vanessa was spotted in LA over the weekend and she is only there to be with the kids so perhaps Lilly Rose did skip the wedding.

  15. Lara February 9, 2015 at 9:11 pm #

    Isn’t Lily Rose the one standing next to Johnny on picture 3? Now where are his mom and his sister Christy (who he used to refer to as his best friend in this world)? Strrrrraaaaaange. :D:D:D

    • jambernews February 9, 2015 at 9:59 pm #

      No that is not LR. Whitney, Amber’s sister has her hair pulled back in a bun.

  16. Anon February 9, 2015 at 9:45 pm #

    Lily-Rose wasnt there. She was posting on instagram all weekend. Jack probably just went to keep his dad company. You have to remember that Jack is the younger sibling. He probably feels stuck. Poor kids </3 heartbroken for them.

  17. Lara February 9, 2015 at 10:17 pm #

    If Lily Rose was not there then that’s a proof things are messed up. Johnny adores her and she does not attend his wedding? I smell trouble fast approaching.

    • sol February 10, 2015 at 9:45 am #

      I also think the same. And it shows the level of selfishness of Amber “chupacabras”, she cares little whether the girl was present, and continued on with his cheap wedding.

  18. Babeth February 10, 2015 at 3:45 pm #

    je suis triste pour Vanessa, cette île, Johnny l’avait acheté pour Vanessa, et voir le papa de ses enfants se marié avec une autre est horrible

  19. Lara February 11, 2015 at 1:12 pm #

    Babeth I think that’s the very reason why Lily Rose may have decided not to be there. Touché by that girl, who was quite bold by having sensed that place was a symbol of the four of them. Lily Rose seems more mature than her dad. I bet Amber wanted a wedding over there to prove helrself powerful over Johnny.

  20. sol February 11, 2015 at 2:57 pm #

    Johnny again betrays Vanessa, First is unfaithful with the “chupacabras”, then he married on the island where they have beautiful memories . Seems not to care about anything, sure Jack was forced to go and had to be godfather, because what you see in the picture Johnny does not have any friend.Todos desaparecieron. Good for Lily, proves to be a woman,with values , what is lacking at Amber “chupacabras”.

  21. fairytalegonewrong February 13, 2015 at 5:32 pm #

    The fact tha you have to totally bash someone else in order to make yourself appear worthy
    means that you don’t have any worthwile qualities of your own to promote. Why does Johnny allow all of the Vanessa
    bashing if his new bride is all that, the ex bashing wouldn’t be necessary.

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