Ways Johnny Copes With….

23 Jan

Being linked or seen with Amber Turd

1. Pain dulls the trauma. Once home he plucks his ball hair one by one with tweezers.

2. Every time he sees their names together he takes another drink.

3. If he knows they will be seen together he lathers on cologne to drown out her crotch rot.

4. We may start to see the effects of Johnny’s body bleaching as a means of decontamination.

5. He visits a buffet twice daily. He’s eating his feelings.

6. Apparently Amber did get Johnny pregnant, he’s due in March.

7. Tattoos don’t provide enough pain to numb the trauma anymore, so he’s resorted to taking a carrot peeler to his ass nightly.

8. Testosterone dropped, thus the weight gain, AKA permanent erectile dysfunction.

9. Continually tries to make her dislike him by appearing as Grandpa Fat Fuck, but it’s not working.

10. Has now resorted to killing her career, EX: Sherilynn, Winona, Jennifer……………..




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