Welcome 2015

1 Jan

2015 – The New Year. Here’s some really bad shit that could happen.

1. Johnny Depp could be sober……All. the. time.

2. Amber Heard could get knocked up, and only Maurey could prove who the father is.

3. Tim Burton could show up dating Whitney Heard.

4. The Zombie apocolypse could occur, and hundreds of non- infected, being chased by zombies, would trip Amber Heard. (not really a bad thing)

5. Amber Heard could continue to make her retarded snarl/growl faces, and eye fuck every camera in sight.

6. Johnny Depp could marry Amber Heard without a pre nup, ok ok he could marry her.

7. Confirmation of pedophilia see #6

8. Johnny shows up with four fingers “amputated” but we’d all know what really happened.

9. Tuna tostadas, crab tacos, and cake pops could be a new trend at weddings.

10. HEADLINE: Johnny Depp bankrupt! Amber Heard and friends mooch too much! (plane rides, vacations, spa treatments. Get the scoop here!)

11. Tasya, among several other friends show up with “amputated” fingers/hands/tongues as well.

12. Amber Heard skyrockets to fame. What? LOL  No wait for it……

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4 Responses to “Welcome 2015”

  1. Judy Latty January 1, 2015 at 5:42 pm #

    He may have gotten married last night…ugh!!!!

    • jambernews January 1, 2015 at 5:43 pm #

      Eh we’ll see, that shit leaks like wildfire.

  2. firealarm January 1, 2015 at 6:18 pm #

    13. Your a & h keys stop working…
    muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  3. Loved Hatea January 1, 2015 at 7:02 pm #

    I think we would have heard thru the grapevine by now, her friends wouldn’t be able to resist posting hints.

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